North Korea – nuclear armed nutters.

Now nuclear warfare has always had its share of nutters. Right from day one. Apparently the scientists who detonated the first nuclear warhead believed there was a 25 per cent chance it would ignite the atmosphere and basically turn the Earth into a mini sun. That's a one-in-four chance. But they went ahead with it anyway.

Development of the atom bomb by America was helped by Britain and France on condition the Americans share the technology. Seriously, give the bomb to France? The nutter factor in action again. The French then proceeded to blow up half the fucking south Pacific just to prove the bomb worked.

"Mon dieu! Does this thing still work? [BOOM!] Oui! It does! How about now? [LE BOOM!] Oui, it still works. What about now? etc"

Russia stole the German scientists working on the Nazi bomb and developed the technology themselves. And China just up and stole everything, which the allies couldn't get really upset about because, well, once a country goes nuclear, you have to treat them nice. Because one nuclear bomb in the wrong place can create a rather big mess. And, as already stated, there's always nutters in control. Which is just the factor North Korea counts on.

The world's nuclear arsenal is now so big and in the hands of so many nutters that it's truly amazing we've gone 60 years without someone "accidentally" blowing up some tourist hotspot somewhere.

"The names that will go down in history; Hiroshima, Nagasaki, Cancun..."

India and Pakistan are both nuclear powers. Thankfully they seem to prefer blowing each other up on a face-to-face basis (and I think there's a lot of UN and US bribery and threatening going on behind the scenes just to keep the nuclear warheads off the table).

I honestly believe George W Bush stopped short of starting a nuclear war only because he couldn't actually find the right button. "Dick, it says nuclear holocaust on the button, but all I ever get is a pepperoni pizza delivered."

Now North Korea is a nuclear power. Unfortunately, these guys are unhinged at the best of times. They'll send a nuclear warhead into America with the view that it will deter the United States from taking any further action against them. Their whole basis of developing the bomb seems to be: "We need it for protection from the United States and other foreign aggressors who so blatantly haven't attacked us since the Communist uprisings of the late 1940s."

Um, yes, and when was the last time North Korea was invaded? Well, there's only South Korea, the United States and China who could now pose any threat to them. South Korea being on the other side of about 30 trillion anti-tank and anti-personnel mines, and China being North Korea's only real ally. The United States really just can't be bothered. I mean, why attack North Korea? It would be like a heavily armed Sumo wrestler attacking a kindergarten class. Besides the US is already too busy cleaning up its messes in Iraq and Afghanistan.

But this latest North Korean detonation has even pissed China off. I rather suspect Kim Jong Il will be called on by members of the Chinese military who will utter the Chinese phrase equivalent of: "Pull your head in, Noddy."

I suspect Mr Kim is just pissed off that South Park keep hassling him. But it's so hard not to make fun of him. He's a complete loon, just like his dad. The problem is that now he's a nuclear armed loon. The latest in a long line of nutters with a nuclear bomb, just looking for an excuse to set it off.

Let's take another look at the Doomsday Clock, shall we?