Quick: While Nobody's Listening

TV people do some strange things.

I realise that’s a sweeping comment. People who aren’t on TV do strange things too; but TV people are exceptionally good at it. Although I actually only have one example to call upon to prove my point.

I’m a big fan of rugby league; specifically Australian rugby league. League was a break-away from rugby union when rugby players in England’s coal mining areas noticed the clubs were making crap loads of money, but the players were expected to pay for their own shoelaces.

There were many arguments; and as is often the case where money is involved, neither side was willing to budge – ie, those who had the money refused to give it away and those who wanted the money weren’t able to get.

This was early 1900s. The break-away reached New Zealand around 2007 or so, and in 2008 a tour of Australia and Europe was organised. This featured some All Blacks and others, and was generally a success.

Oh, there was one Australian they picked up on the way to Europe. His name was Clive Churchill, and in Australia he is now considered the all-consuming godfather of rugby league, although nobody really says why, because that would mean acknowledging that he was there with a bunch of Kiwis.

Well, long story short, Australians embraced the game. Especially around Sydney where it now dominates rugby union and Australian rules (essentially Gaelic football).

Anyway, the 2009 rugby league season is coming to a close. The grand final between Melbourne’s Storm and Paramatta’s Eels will be this weekend. It should be a good match: the heart goes with Paramatta, the mind with the Storm.

In Australia, Channel 9 broadcasts the league. Being a commercial channel, naturally they slip ad breaks in as often as possible. But they also sell the rights to pay-per-view channels around the world which don't break for ads.

The team of Channel 9 commentators is led by an old chap named Ray Warren. He’s brilliant. Consummate professional is he. It's hard not to get caught up in the game when he's verging on a stroke everytime a player passes the ball. But he has this weird quirk that I just don’t understand.

When Channel 9 goes to a commercial he says: “And I’d just like to welcome all the viewers watching in New Zealand, in the UK on ESPN and in the United States…”

He slips this welcome in when the domestic audience isn’t there; like it’s our little secret. “Don’t, for God’s sake, let the Australians know anyone else is watching!”

Like it would be some massive blow to the Aussie TV ratings for the locals to discover that Brits, Yanks and Kiwis were watching the league, too. I find it very bizarre.

Now, for any North Americans reading this, I urge you to watch the grand final this weekend. The game’s excellent. It’s a lot like American football in principle, only the game doesn’t stop between downs (so it’s much faster), there’re six downs to a set and only lateral passes are allowed. Check it out.