Sleepyhead thinks you're an idiot

One thing I really hate; I mean I loathe, as in bring on the bamboo shoot manicure despise is advertisers who think you are stupid.

They want you to purchase their product with your hard-earned cash but they also, in their ads, demonstrate that they think you are a moron.

In New Zealand there’s one company that is like fingernails on the blackboard every time I hear their jingle. This is odd, because I have absolutely no problem with the company or their products… just their ads.

The company is Sleepyhead. They make beds.

Their ads all start with a jingle they’ve had for years, where some guy cheerily sings: “Now you don’t buy a bed every day…”

There used to be a whole song, but that’s gone by the way. The announcer then cuts in with the mattress of the week specials etc.

The ads end with the end of the jingle: “…you can sleep on it!”

Brainless condescending bastards they are.

“Now you don’t buy a bed every day.” Think about it. Could there be a more bloody obvious statement?

"OH MY GOD! LOOK! The sky isn't falling!"

Or possibly:

*Yawn* *Stretch* Well, that was a good night’s sleep, I’ll just hit the bed destruction button and Sleepyhead will deliver a new one this afternoon. Not that there’s anything wrong with this one, it was brand new yesterday, but hey, I buy a bed every day.

What a waste. Thank God we have Sleepyhead to prevent such scenarios by warning us not to buy a bed every day, despite it being to their obvious economic advantage. Oh crap, my sarcasm meter just went off the dial.

So we come to the end of the ad: “You can sleep on it!”

WTF? That’s like trying to sell a new car by saying: “You can drive it!”

Here, buy the new Porsche 911 Carrera – it has four wheels, a motor and look, even a steering wheel. The driver sits here, in the driver’s seat, and uses these controls to make the car go brmmmm brrmmmm.

So Sleepyhead – a little heads up (so to speak). The only time I’ll be caught sleeping on one of your mattresses is if your ads give me a brain aneurism and I have no choice.

This post brought to you by...

Sponsorship is an interesting concept.

I remember a former TV presenter once giving a strongly-worded speech condemning the levels of advertising on network television. He made the point that advertising has never improved the quality of anything it has been attached to.

Not that I support that idea; working for a company that lives and dies by its advertising levels. I say advertise away! Please! And newspaper advertising is just so wonderful. It doesn’t interrupt anything, it doesn’t flash at you, and you don’t have to click on it to make it bugger off. It’s just the best advertising ever.

Anyway, it’s interesting how advertising infiltrates so many aspects of day-to-day life. It can be fun spotting the product placement in movies. This has been going on for years; hell, there’s Pepsi product placement in Bette Davis and Joan Crawford’s 1962 classic What Ever Happened to Baby Jane?

But that had a lot to do with the back stage feud between the two co-stars.

That said, I became aware today of another insidious little sponsorship deal going on.

In a previous blog I mentioned the rules of cricket and the Indian Premier League Twenty20 competition; primary sponsor DLF – some sort of building company in India, I think.

In cricket when you hit the ball out of the ground on the full you get an automatic six runs. The commentators usually drool at this: “Oh, that’s a lovely shot, and that’s gone for six” or “And that’s six! Over the member’s stand and into the car park” or “A beautiful stroke there and it’s gone 10 rows back for six”.

Except now they all say: “And that’s a DLF maximum!”

Pardon? WTF is a DLF maximum? Well, of course I know, but why are you rebranding the sport with this sort of insidious crap? Where will it all end?

Which got me thinking: where else might you find such future sponsorship?

“…and the ball’s been passed to Ritchie McCaw and he’s over! Oh, that’s a lovely Big Mac five pointer by the All Blacks captain…”

“…that’s a swing and a hit and he’s made it to KFC country chicken first base…”

“…Beckham shoots, it’s a beautiful shot and yes! It’s a Vodafone magic point!”