All lit up

I’m taking a moment to mourn the loss of one of the best symbols of protest.

Here in New Zealand, every November 5, we commemorate Guy Fawkes’ night. This is a throwback to our colonial past. There was a guy back in 1605 who tried to blow up the English houses of Parliament. He was caught in a tunnel below Parliament with barrels of gunpowder and a long fuse.

Militant Catholic, he was. Tortured, he was. Gave up everyone, he did. Hung, drawn and quartered, he was. That’s the Yoda summary.

(In case you didn’t know the “drawn” part of the execution involved having his intestines “drawn” from his body, while he was still conscious, and burned in front of him. Ouch.)

So, every November 5 the bonfires are built and the fireworks come out. Oddly enough the celebration of Guy Fawkes’ night was ordered by the Government of the day as a warning to all the militant Catholics not to try to blow up Parliament.

Right up until the 1970s it was common to see kids building a straw “Guy” to throw on the bonfire. In Britain kids go around seeking a “penny for the Guy” so they can dose up on sugar before the bonfire.

Which brings me to my point: Burning the Guy was a burning in effigy. And right up until the 1900s it was popular to burn unpopular people in effigy.

I used to live in Timaru, where one of the big moments in history was the wreck of the Benvenue. It was a sailing ship that was caught in heavy seas on a fine day with no wind. It ran aground against the cliffs which were to bear its name.

The Harbour Master of the day led a rescue effort which was mostly successful. Unfortunately, the rescue boat was upturned by the seas a couple of times and some people drowned. The Harbour Master saved as many as he could before he crawled from the sea, totally exhausted, and promptly dropped dead.

Consequently the Harbour Board ruled that the whole thing was the Harbour Master’s fault (in that “blame the dead hero” mentality committees are renowned for).

As a consequence the people of Timaru came out and burned in effigy the entire Harbour Board.

It must have been a sight. “Hey, Bruce! Bruce! We’re burning you in effigy! That’s right; you are so unpopular right now that we made a big straw doll of you which we’re now setting light to.”

These days you’d probably have to get a fire permit to burn someone in effigy. And you’d need fire extinguishers nearby. And even then, what if the burning effigy accidentally set light to something else? How much damage could a burning effigy do?

How would you feel if someone burned you in effigy and your effigy fell over and set light to an orphanage, and the orphanage was next to a stable? So your effigy was responsible for panicked and burned little children and horses. Wouldn’t you feel some sort of responsibility for that?

And the person who lit the effigy could blame you! “If Lindsay hadn’t been such an asshole to begin with, I never would have burnt him in effigy and this whole disaster would never have happened.”

So, that’s my tribute to effigy burning. Next up: Voodoo dolls, what would happen if you burnt them in effigy?