Some thoughts on Easter

Easter has come and gone, with its holiday, chocolate and its true origins and meanings lost in the mists of time.

Well, that’s not true; but what is interesting is the way in which we choose to celebrate Easter.

Traditionally it is celebrated at the same time as Judaism celebrates the Passover. The Passover itself being a dubious celebration of the night God killed a bunch of Egyptians just to prove an obscure point.

[Interesting aside: The Passover corresponds to the celebration of the ripening of the barley. Some scientists believe the culmination of the 10 plagues – which included frogs and gnats and flies – caused the top layers of the Egyptian grain barrels to begin fermenting corn which in turn produced a powerful neurotoxin. This, combined with the tradition of serving the first-born first; and a double helping, explains how the Egyptian first-borns all suddenly upped and died overnight.]

The Passover has since been superseded by the Christian celebration of Easter. Though we still have the "unlevened bread" (ie, hot cross buns). This is really the only date in the scheme of things that the Christians are sure about. Because Jesus was arrested just after the infamous Last Supper – the Passover feast.

As Christians would have it; Christ was nailed up on Friday, buried that night and rose again on Sunday. Which technically makes him a zombie.

But suggest this to Christians and they’re likely to get upset. Jesus Christ? A zombie? No, no, no. He didn’t eat brains. He wanted us to eat HIS body and drink his blood … hmmm.

So next year I’m advocating we get back to grass-roots remembrance of Easter. Dump the Easter Bunny and bring forth the Easter Zombie. He gives chocolate brains for us to munch on.

I was going to make t-shirts this year, but didn’t get to it (read: “bloody apathetic”). I had a lot of fun making up the slogans though:

* The Easter Zombie: loves you for your brains!
* Spare a thought: Every day thousands of zombies starve to death in Australia.
* Zombies – because that’s what Easter is all about.
* The Easter Zombie wants to taste what you think.